Power, Pacifism, and Prison

(Illustration by Adrian Avila)

Hurt people hurt people. Look at the men and women comprising our incarcerated populations, and you will find they have disproportionately higher rates of trauma and adverse childhood experiences than those still within our communities. This is something that has been discovered consistently throughout several different studies; simply Google “ACES in prison,” to see for yourself. What this shows is that those who suffer the worst at the hands of society are the very same people committing crimes. Keep in mind, I am speaking generally about trends within our jails and prisons. There are, of course, outliers who endure indescribable trauma in their lives and remain compassionate, forgiving, and Law-abiding people. But as a rule of thumb, empirical evidence tells us that hurt people do indeed hurt people. Still it is by no means an excuse. After many years of being incarcerated myself, I have finally come to understand that it is unacceptable to intentionally hurt others. Today, I practice nonviolence as the fundamental belief that guides my every decision—it is my constitution.

Losing the one person I loved most in life and witnessing my father’s health progressively deteriorate, with each fifteen-minute phone call, taught me a critical lesson: these things hurt—badly. The pain I experienced as a result of these losses was crushing. But, it was soon dwarfed by the realization that I have done this to someone else. I am responsible for inflicting unthinkable pain on the families of those who I harmed. My experience surely pales in comparison to the gut-wrenching agony they have lived with since I took their loved ones from them. This is where I began to comprehend something that would serve as a catalyst for my transformation into a pacifist. For a long time, I have known how it feels to be abandoned, afraid, betrayed, attacked, lied to, stole from and hurt in so many other ways. Yet, I never before understood that this knowledge was the very reason why I ought not to hurt another person.

My whole life, I have been lashing out at the world because of the negative things that happened to me. I was uncaring because I felt uncared for. I became disconnected from others, and this made it possible for me to dehumanize people and act recklessly. I was indifferent towards human life… including my own. Now, I see these traumatic events as teachable moments and opportunities to gain insight for how to treat others. I know firsthand how it feels to be hurt by people—to some extent, we all do. So, I deliberately choose not to act in ways that are harmful towards others because I fully understand the deeper implications of such harm. It is clear to me now that this was always the lesson I should have learned: be considerate and care for other people because, I know the pain of being hurt. It does not feel good. Even worse, it can go on to feed a treacherous cycle of pain, resentment, and hate—if one lets it. If hurt people go on to hurt other people, and those people also act in ways that hurt others, then we are all merely perpetuating a series of immeasurable harm upon humanity. Thus, I propose that those who have been hurt in life have a moral duty to bring an end to their part in all this madness.

When you refuse to accept violence as an appropriate method for solving problems, you embrace pacifism as a lifestyle. One of the worst myths of violence is that it is an expression of power… something to be respected. However, those of us who have committed blatant acts of violence have, unfortunately, often done so with little thought or effort. For many of us, it was easy to react with aggression and resort to physically harming someone—especially when violence was normalized in our homes and communities. Such aggression is frequently the result of unrestrained emotions and impulses, occurring from a lack of consideration and an inability to keep oneself balanced. This is the most primitive form of conflict resolution. There is no power in it; true strength exists in nonviolent approaches to issues. It is much more difficult to control oneself and exercise self-discipline, consequential thinking, and empathy. Whether you choose to thoroughly communicate about things or simply walk away, pacifism empowers an individual by giving them the ability to be part of a solution rather than yet another problem. There is enough pain in this world, we do not need to keep creating more. As pacifists, we can disrupt the cycle and rewrite the narrative. Hurt people can help people, too.